Wow!! I feel so good today, like I’ve had a spiritual shower and been toweled off with imagination and pushed out into my creative space to spill my thoughts onto a freshly created word file. Would you look at that beautiful white space just waiting for me. Comfy chair, monitor tweaked just the way I like it, desk space uncluttered and nothing to distract me. The phone is ringing.
Hello Rachel, no, you are not bothering me, I lied. Would I mind doing a short survey? Yeah, I would. Let me let you go, my train of thought is leaving and I want to go where it was headed, really. I know you will keep calling, I just don’t care right now. I’ll unplug the phone, yeah, that should take care of that.
The first sentence is always the worst, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t just type a bunch of random letters for a line or two, throw on a period and then come back and fix it later, just to get going. Which would probably work but as soon as I got up to answer the phone my elusive, secretive, almost never seen in the light of day kitty has taken up residence in my chair. Prrrrrrrrr, says kitty. Shoo, says I, picking up his fluffiness and depositing him on the floor. I believe the name of the look I got was ‘reproach.’
Settling back in and getting ‘writer mode’ enabled once more I let the creative juices that had been simmering come to a boil and spill out onto the page. Spill onto the page. I said… Crap. Where was this going? It was so ‘there’ earlier. Where was I? Got up, grabbed a shave, then a shower, got dressed, was thinking about, what? A mental image of Curly Howard saying, “I tried to think, but nothing happened!” I sort of stare into space hoping that the thought would circle around and I would catch it on the next lap and the cat settles down onto the middle of the keyboard. I stroke the little darling a couple of times and then I see that he has been making the letter ’s’ the whole time, three pages of the letter ‘s’. Well at least he is getting something on the page. He does this when he is hungry, I will feed him and maybe he will go to sleep somewhere and let me alone for a bit.
The cat actively paces all about the counter and underfoot as I fill a dish with his favorite canned food, place it on the floor and watch him attack it. My exit is silent and unnoticed by the cat, he, after all, has priorities.
Got to get centered, go to the bathroom, grab toothbrush, toothpaste, ritual two minute tooth scrubbys. Mouthwash, swirl, swirl, spit. Water back. Spit. Towel. Check the shave. Shave is good. Grab a random cologne from the basket, spritz! Now, back to work. Sit down, delete three pages of ‘s’ and start fresh. Fresh. Damn, that cologne smells good. Really good. When I was single, if I smelled like this, I would sleep with me. What? Shut up!!! Focus. Damn, that was a good movie. Love me some Will Smith. Great, now that song is in my head. I hate listening to music when I write, or try to. Only one thing worse.
Bark, bark, bark, bark.
What do you want?
Bark, bark, bark!
Bark, bark, bark.
Bark, wiggle, wiggle, bark, wiggle, wiggle…
Let’s go! Easy enough to figure that out. Great day outside. Fresh air, sunshine. Blank page. No. Don’t go there. Don’t even think it. Not the words. Writer’s block. There. Now you’ve gone and done it. Might as well go to the hardware store and get the new lock for the back door and while you are out you were going to design a shaving grotto for the hallway bathroom and the wife needed some stuff from Wally World. Because you thought it out loud.
Block, block, bo bock,
Banana fanna fo fock,
Fee fi mo mock,
That’s it. Concentrate. Stare at the page until the thoughts come. Then type like crazy until they are all on the page. Concentrate. Concentrate. Sleeeeeep…
O. M. G. It is 2:30 in the afternoon. My neck hurts. I am soooooo hungry. I think my butt has grown into this chair cushion. I give up. Somebody feed me.